GOOD FRIDAY

Tonight I am spending my time with my siblings. I love them so much that I could never give up. They are my inspiration, my love and obligation.

For years I have have been spending so many nights alone down the boulevard, at the beaches and even in my room. Alone.

Tears drifted all night long. I'm not worried how would they become but worried how would they treat me if I have done even a single mistake or worse? If i failed. Not by loving them. But failed on my own. I know I have failed much in the past. And I am always grateful because I have learned. I have so many fears. Most of all, fear of losing them. My two precious siblings. It's like they are all that i got!

I love myself. And I love God more than anything or anyone on earth.I have become a drunkard. I knew it wasnt really the solution to ease myself out from being alone. I have spent too much of my time and finances going out of home. I really didn't consider any house a home. I odn't even know what it's like to be home. And it's too painful. I have never been home. I hope I have been raised a good man. And what's really hurtful? It's that I have never been really raised physically and emotionally. Sometimes I locked myself in my room. cried at the back of my door. Sobbed. Shouted in my head why i have been led a life like this. It seemed unfair. Since I was innocent... since i have asked questions... since I have learned.. since I have grown... Since I have craved for love... there I was.... crying on my own... I'm sorry... I love you God...